i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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