I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Randomize
