Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
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