thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
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