Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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