This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
