I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
Randomize
