I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
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