dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
Randomize
