I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
