are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
Watching her eat just hurts me
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
