But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Randomize