just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
