I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Randomize
