no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
My underwear smells like fireworks.
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
