this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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