i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
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