what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
Randomize
