I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Randomize
