am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
Randomize
