i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
