i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Randomize
