I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
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