I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
Randomize
