i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
