It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize
