just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
