I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
