is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
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