Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
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