I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
Randomize
