Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
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