ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
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