Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
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