Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
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