found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
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