he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
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