He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
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