forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
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