Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(949): View more from California

Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old

(503): View more from Oregon

You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.

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(720): View more from Colorado

I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.

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(541): View more from Oregon

Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.

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(+81): View more from

On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows

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(720): View more from Colorado

I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.

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(951): View more from California

My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?

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(908): View more from New Jersey

He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices

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(219): View more from Indiana

Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again

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(941): View more from Florida

He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.

(1-941): View more from Florida

The sports guy?

(941): View more from Florida

Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero

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