Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
Hey man sorry I got all grabby
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
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