U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
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