the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
Randomize