i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
okay pat passed out under dana's car
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
Randomize
