Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Randomize
