she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
