dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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