butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
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