right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
I will pee on everything he values.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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