I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
