There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
i black out too much to be "responsible"
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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