around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
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