Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
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