During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize