I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
Randomize
