we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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