Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
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