did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
Ladies don't puke and tell
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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